A Blog Is Born

Having never really written before, it feels odd… This compulsion to get things down on paper {or ponsey iPad if we’re being pedantic}.

I have always been aware of this barrier I have that makes it really difficult to actually verbalise how I’m feeling/what I’m thinking/what I want/need. Imagine taking a mouthful of water, clenching your teeth together then trying to squeeze it out through the gaps. Only part of it actually escapes and that which does manage to make a break for it, has no real angle. It goes in precisely the opposite direction to which you would have guessed, probably dribbles down your chin and is also quite likely to squirt some unsuspecting passer by in the eye. So you think to yourself ‘better to just swallow and avoid any embarrassment’ {and you can remove that disgusting image straight from your minds you filthy buggers*} than to risk things coming out all wrong and, well, hurting someone … Or their eye?!

So there we have it, it seems I am as about as capable of explaining myself on paper** as I am vocally.

So, when discussing on new years eve over copious amounts of alcohol*** with my Mr, what we would like to ‘do more of’ in 2013 {resolutions are an invitation for failure in our experience}, we had filled in our family wants, his personal wants … So then he turns to me and asks ‘so what about you, what do you want?’ My reaction was to crumble into a tear stained ball of snot. You can see why he married me.

I think this was the catapult… That made me face up to the fact that I’m a slight emotional retard so this could perhaps be something I could work on in 2013. And perhaps seeing as I am a regular sufferer of verbal constipation followed by regular bouts of diarrhoea {also of the verbal nature} I could explore my thoughts and feelings in this new fangled format of blogging****.

Who knows what direction this blog may take, it may even crash and burn with this lowly post the only evidence of its fatal inception. Nevertheless, I am biting the bullet, sticking my neck out and approaching it with both smiley eyes {they hide a multitude of sins} and an open heart.

*she types whilst sniggering at the mental image
**ponsey iPad
*** two glasses of fizz, but could well have been 1litre of meths for the effect it had on me – an incredibly sporadic drinker
**** I know, I know. Don’t say it.